Before I get into the meat of this post, I just wanted to let you all know that as of today Iâ€™m starting to write for Fleshbot â€“ two smutty, slutty and hopefully amusing posts every day. If you donâ€™t already read Fleshbot at least occasionally, I have no words for you.
So I realize that I kind of leapt from â€œhey Iâ€™m making a porno!â€ into â€œgrrrrâ€¦ logging tapes makes me suicidal!â€ and skipped over all the juicy stuff in between. This is partly because I am a woman of the moment, and partly because itâ€™s a little tough to remember all the nitty gritty details of the weekendâ€¦ so many hoursâ€¦ so much happening. But for you, I will try.
Last week, as I mentioned, I spent the majority of my time driving around Brooklyn running errands, eating hot dogs and making lists… and sometimes eating hot dogs and making lists while driving. This I do not recommend to the average American, but I live in Brooklyn, so itâ€™s all good, especially when combined with yelling â€œout of my way, cocksmoker!â€ to slow-moving pedestrians. These tasks were interspersed with phone calls to my friends to blow off steam, many of which started with â€œYou know what I hate?â€ or â€œTarget is all out of enemas! This is an outrage!â€ Somehow I managed to get just about everything done â€“ though one of the lists I made in the process was â€œto do different next time.â€ At top of the list was â€œhire a production assistant for the day before and the day after the shoot.â€ Somehow, â€œbuy a gunâ€ also got on the list. That must have been in one of my weaker moments.
After running errands on Wednesday I drove to JFK to retrieve Trixie and Tucker â€“ an infernal bit of fun that somehow got me stuck at the airport for two hours and also involved fun moments like realizing that I had taken a shuttle from parking lot to airport to meet them while theyâ€™d taken a shuttle from airport to parking lot to meet me. Said and done, we arrived at the Sirius studios in time for the Derek and Romaine show. We had a good bit of fun on the air and had an interesting conversation about why some women dig seeing dudes do each other. Romaine, Trixie and I all agreed on the hotness of such acts, but we each had different reasons for our predilections. And thatâ€™s why sexuality is cool.
Thursday was mostly a day of paperwork, phone calls and emails, though it was supposed to be a day of early load-in and equipment testing. Due to some timing and miscommunication issues, we were unable to load in until Thursday evening, so I decided to push equipment pick up to Friday morning. This of course meant that people ran late, some of the wrong equipment got sent over and Trixie and Tuckerâ€™s sex scene, which we were supposed to shoot at noon, got started a little before 4 pm. The scene itself more than made up for the dramas and traumas of the morning â€“ in my humble opinion it is the best scene in the movie. Or maybe I just feel that way about it because it was the first scene we shot and I was swooning with joy to see Trixie and Tucker do it.
Saturday was unofficially dubbed boner day, since it included two scenes (a boy/boy and a boy/boy/girl) with hopes for four boners. We hit 25% on boners â€“ and you know what, it really wasnâ€™t a big deal. I have said it before and I will say it again â€“ porno is immeasurably difficult on men, and the Cult of the Almighty Erection is kind of silly. I am not denying my love of rock hard cock (mmmm), just saying that there are plenty of things you can do without one, and sex doesnâ€™t start with a boner and end when it goes away. Though a lot of porn is totally dependent on boners and some directors pay kill fees when dudes canâ€™t get it up (because everything is ruined!), I think that in the end product of my movie, the scenes wonâ€™t at all feel ruined by lack of boners â€“ because in reality they werenâ€™t. People had fun and got off without them. So there.
Sunday was (comparably) the easiest of the three days â€“ we stayed on schedule because we had to be all loaded out by 8 pm. All the performers on Sunday were super professional â€“ which means that they showed up and/or didnâ€™t have gonorrhea, unlike Saturday. I made the nearly fatal mistake, however, of not planning past wrap on Sunday, which meant that I didnâ€™t think very hard about where the equipment would go when we loaded it out and how it would get there. We ended up renting a cargo van â€“ no small feat on the last day of the month â€“ and I drove all the rented stuff back to Brooklyn, and then got up at 6 am on Monday morning to drop it all off. That was not a happy time.
There was definitely a lot of diversity on set â€“ by this I mean, not everyone was white, but more importantly, the sex scenes were all interesting and different and strayed from the 3.5 positions then pop shot on the face pornula. The action overall wasnâ€™t as hardcore as I imagined (is anal is four out of five scenes considered â€œnot that hardcoreâ€?), but that wasnâ€™t a bad thing, and it got me thinking a whole lot about what I like to see versus what I feel comfortable asking for on set. And that, my friends, is another post for another day (tomorrow, hopefully).