How to be an ally to sex workers*

*or other populations that are struggling with human rights issues, with whom you do not identify but with whom you sympathize

When I send out calls for submission to $pread and associated events and projects, I always state that I am primarily looking for work from people who are current or former sex workers. Typically, eight out of the ten emails I get in response start out like this: “I’m not a sex worker, but…” I also get emails from people who didn’t read the info I put out into the world and when I turn them down (if I’m in the mood to write back, that is) subsequently ask questions like “what’s a sex worker?” And then there is also the contingent of sex workers who write and say, “I’m not a professional writer or artist, but…” (those are the emails I actually love and get excited about replying to).

I understand the appeal of being published in a magazine, having your art work in a show in New York, all that. I also understand the desire to help out a community that you view as deserving of support and understanding from the world at large. Sex workers are a much-maligned and stigmatized group, and there are certainly more people outside of the sex industry (so-called “civilians”) than there are inside it. Curiosity from those on the outside is rampant, and certainly not always in a bad way, however, I think it is also extremely important that sex workers be encourage to speak for themselves, produce their own culture and movement, with the support but not interference of civilians. Occasionally at $pread we get a bit of flak for prioritizing the contributions of sex workers, but here’s the thing: non-sex workers have a whole world, a whole media landscape to express themselves. Sex workers don’t – unless they are ready to deal with what it means to be an out sex worker in an unfriendly world.

So for non-sex workers who want to help, here’s some stuff you can do (and others can feel free to chime in with suggestions in the comments):

Encourage the sex workers you know to speak about their experiences and perspectives in ways that they are comfortable. For some the comfort zone is just with friends, though others may be interested in other, more public outlets. Realize that a sex worker’s perspective doesn’t have to be titillating and all about what they do in their sessions – prying for that kind of stuff probably won’t go over well, or you’ll be treated like a client.

Volunteer for sex worker support and harm reduction groups, but know that many organizations that cater to sex workers basically do affirmative action for people who have worked in the industry. Respect that and be okay with being in a supporting role. Boring support stuff like preparing mailings is mind-numbing but crucial to the existence of many non-profits or groups that are primarily run by volunteers.

Speak up when people say misguided or hateful things about people in the sex industry. This is probably the most key thing a non-sex worker can do: verbally stand up for us when someone talks smack. Do some research on resources in your area – the list of resources in $pread magazine and on our website are a good place to start – and pass the info on to folks who need it. Teachable moments abound!

Donate to sex worker support organizations – cash is always welcome, but things like computers, software, and skills are usually welcome as well. Ask if the org has a wishlist and give what you can.