The third installment of my monthly column is up on Hot Movies for Her. This one is called Sex Without Porn? Love LA Rethinks the Adult Industry. It’s about Love LA, “the first ever Sexual Health, Education and Entertainment Exhibition,†which was organized by my friends Ian and Alicia of the excellent sexy boutique Freddy and Eddy.
One of Ian and Alicia’s main inspirations for producing Love LA was the prevalence of the trashy smutiness of the adult industry that just doesn’t jive with the average person who wants to explore his or her sexuality and doesn’t see that mirrored by the black/hot pink/teal color scheme and puffy lips of adult performers.
From my column:
During a gathering at the Adult Entertainment Expo last month, I had an impassioned conversation with Ian about [the] words [“porn,†“adult,†and “novelty"], and the fact that they make him feel gross about his sexuality and his desire to seek out erotic entertainment that will respect him in the morning. Although over the last twenty years we’ve seen the rapid growth of the women’s and couple’s markets (hence sites like [Hot Movies for Her], words like these persist, and they don’t do us any favors.
Love LA did something really different and daring for an “adult” expo:
Although from a distance it looked like a typical adult trade show, the organizers made sure it was anything but. For one thing, they decided early on that there would be no porn. That’s right: no 18-year-old girls in lucite heels, no balloon-breasted women signing 8×10s for a long line of admirers. No porn.
In an email from Ian this morning after the column went up, he said, “I don’t know if the words you mentioned make me feel “icky,” or that the exclusion of porn makes the statement I’m somehow not on its side (heck, we
enjoy a good shag flick as much as you); however, I do feel strongly that the porn industry is simply “different” than ours. Hence, it should have its own show (with its wonderful mixture of sunglasses, teeth whitening, and bongs).” This is a nuance that maybe didn’t quite come out in the column – porn (and masturbating to it) isn’t inherently incompatible with couples, romantic life, or respecting yourself in the morning. But not all people (even those who love other adult pleasures) dig porn, or dig it enough to slough through the horrid stuff and find the gems.
And there’s this peculiar complication of “class” – as in, degree of perceived classiness, but also the economic class one falls into and what kind of culture one has access to as a result. On one hand, I’m all about the upscaling of the adult industry, because I think that there is a lot of potential for sexy, well-designed things and their appeal to people with the income to buy ludicrous but beautiful things like the objets d’amour made by Shiri Zinn that run upwards of $2000.
But on the other hand, I like dirty porno. I don’t really have a desire to direct or produce really raunchy, nasty low-rent porno, but I sure as hell like to jerk off to it. For me, and for other people who have access to a wide variety of smut and are educated about what’s out there, there is an appeal to the dirty, “trashy” stuff. Maybe this is sexual slumming, but as much as I believe that it’s worth fighting to destigmatize the consumption of adult material, I think there will always be an appeal to being naughty. There’s something special about naughtiness.
Anyway, go read Sex Without Porn? Love LA Rethinks the Adult Industry and have a look at the Sex in Design/Design in Sex show at MoSex. Feel enheartened by the growth of the adult business and the rising quantity of quality people in it. Then think about what this means for everyone who is erotically curious. Are we losing anything as we rise above the traditional sleaze of the adult biz?
9:01 pm
I’m in a totally different corner of the “adult” industry from you, but I know exactly what you’re talking about.
10:19 pm
yes. that’s exactly it. and i know that ian & alicia and all the love la folks have no intention of dissing on other parts of the industry … it’s about options. sometimes i want sushi, sometimes i want taco bell, and i *always* want oysters and champagne LOL. with the ‘sleaze’ or ‘trashy’ aspect, sometimes it’s that very component that makes it arousing, regardless of the content. but other times it’s fun to go more high-falutin.
10:32 pm
We conceived the show simply to highlight another emerging sector of our industry, with the hopes of drawing a different crowd than shows up with pornography present. As Dacia points out, we’re not dissing porn by excluding it, but one cannot deny that a fair portion of people who show up to events including it take on a very different feel than many couples – and women alone – don’t feel comfortable around.
We had 65% women at Love LA. It’s a staggering percentage that destroys the myth that women aren’t much concerned with sexuality AND that they won’t turnout to sexuality-themed events. The vendors loved the opportunity to speak at a higher level regarding their wares without the obnoxious pounding music and yelling for autographs that often characterize porn inclusive events. All 35 who had booths have committed to next year, incidentally, and we have a waiting list of 20 more and growing. Pretty good considering Alicia and I were positive we would fail when we showed up to the venue at 6am that day.
Anyway, we’re meeting with lots of interested folks and groups who want to participate and make the show better, as well as expand it to other cities. Chicago is a big possibility, as we might be able to get Oprah to send someone or show up herself, with NY a natural fit sometime down the line. Heck, the idea of another So. Cal event (in Orange County) as early as this summer has been tossed around. We have a restaurant group who own several high end places – Michael’s, Matsuhisa, Nobu, and others – who are interested in adding a food component to accompany the erotic offerings. The entertainment portion will certainly be expanded, as will the instructional seminars. We are confident the event(s) can be held in larger venues and have already been contacted by beautiful spaces willing to host us for ridiculously low prices in order to get us to move it.
Finally, the idea of a trade group is taking shape, with the acronym “SHE,” which stands for “Sexual Health and Education.” We’d unite to promote our mission to make sexual health as relevant as good diet and exercise.
It seems a small movement has been started and we’re excited about where it’ll go. Thanks, Dacia, for helping us carry it forward!
Ian and Alicia