This week is the Rated X Alternative Erotica Film Festival in Amsterdam, which I’m sadly not able to be present for. My comedic short Dacia’s Love Machine is screening in a program called the Dirty Mirth Collection on Saturday, and furthermore – the love machine itself is making an appearance. When the curators of Rated X first told me they wanted to program my film, they also mentioned that it would be really great if they could put a fucking machine or two on display. I joked that if they paid the shipping, they could have the very machine the film is about. And so, on this past Saturday I found myself at the post office, standing in front of a customs form and trying to figure out how to describe the contents of the package so as to not ruffle the feathers of the customs agents. I settled on “exercise machine.” I got word that it arrived today, none the worse for the wear. Hopefully they’ll provide me with pictures of the machine in situ.

If you’re not going to be able to make your way to Amsterdam for this very excellent festival, you can pony up $2.99 to download the 25 minute director’s cut of Dacia’s Love Machine here. Hopefully in 2009 I’ll be screening the director’s cut in New York and not just overseas.

Here are the details on the screening – check out the Rated X site for their full lineup.

Saturday 17/01 – K1 – 22.00
DIRTY MIRTH COLLECTION
Various directors
Various countries – 2006/2008 – 75 min
Explicit

Quirky, vaudevillian, wry, or silly – this diverse palette of shorts offers a humorous take on sex. Featuring sex blogger Audacia Ray’s sly documentary/mockumentary “Dacia’s Love Machine,” Kirby Fergusen’s sweet goofy lovestory “Polly Wally”, and T. Arthur Cottam’s children’s-show parody “Dirty Words: The Letter C”.

DACIA’S LOVE MACHINE
Dir. Audacia Ray and Rob Daly
USA –2008 — 25 min
Premiere
Sex blogger/writer Audacia Ray’s steathily witty short film details her real-life attempt to rid her apartment of the bulky “Love Machine” she’s been assigned to review. Bonus: Check out the star of the movie –Dacia’s actual Love Machine –exclusively on display at Rated X!

STICKY FINGERS
Dir. Douglas S. Jones
USA — 2003 — 18 min
A lighthearted comedy about a woman dismayed to find that her faithful boyfriend has been hoarding porn. With the help of their best friends, each of them mulls over the relationship between sex, porn, and love.

CUPCAKE
Dir. Em Sixteen and Malay Savage
USA — 2008 — 3 min
Premiere
A 50’s housewife feeds her son’s young soccer friends with luscious chocolate cupcakes, but mom is hungry too.

POLLY WALLY
Dir. Kirby Fergusen
Short –USA –2005 — 4 min
European Premiere
The sweet goofy story of a polyamorous guy searching for his non-monogamous queen.

PROTECTING AND MAINTAINING YOUR HETEROSEXUAL HOUSE OF CARDS
Dir. Kirby Ferguson
USA –2007 — 2 min
World Premiere
A tongue-in-cheek guide to protecting your hetero masculinity.

TWEAK
Dir. Vena Virago
USA — 2002 — 5 min
International Premiere
A strange and amusing power play between a frustrated party attendee and the woman running the camera. Is she trying to help him ejaculate, or keeping him from ejaculating?

DIRTY WORDS: THE LETTER C
Dir. T. Arthur Cottam
USA — 2008 — 4min
Premiere
Just like in the children’s television show, we learn about the alphabet. These words are a bit different, however.

PHILLY DOMINATES VEGETABLES
Dir. Ned Ambler
USA — 2008 — 3 min
Underground film star Philly shows the vegetables who’s boss.

HAPPY HORSE 5
Dir. Duro Toomato
Croatia/The Netherlands – 2006 – 2 min
From Cum2Cut, an independent Berlin DIY porn competition focusing on the activities of the international, independent and countercultural queer movement and presenting “a platform where artists, filmmakers, DJs, actors, hackers, excited minds and everyone interested can collaborate”. The year’s first-prize winner “Happy Horse 5” is a hardcore scene between a teddy bear and an uncooked chicken.

PORNOGRAPHIC APATHETIC
Dir. T. Arthur Cottam
USA – 2006 — 6 min
The dialogue of a standard porn film turns starkly hilarious in this deadpan re-interpretation.

Here is what’s in the latest episode of Live Girl Review
Reviews
Book:Porn & Pong: How Grand Theft Auto, Tomb Raider and other Sexy Games Changed Our Culture by Damon Brown (check out the Porn and Pong website too)
Sex Toy: The Sasi, an exclusive from Babeland. If you shop at babeland.com and type in the code “livegirl” at checkout, you’ll get a 10% discount on whatever you purchase – not just the Sasi.
Smut: Good Dyke Porn – check out the monthly subscription website or you can give the Good Dyke Porn DVD a whirl on Hot Movies for Her, where you can watch each of the eight scenes separately in pay per view format. This is a guest review by Match, who is the founder of the in-development sex positive social news and info site PosAlt and one of the organizers of the second annual Sex 2.0 unconference 2009 – you can also follow Match on Twitter. I figured if I was going to have a guest reviewer I might as well really mix it up and have a guy reviewing lesbian porn.

One Hot Minute
Sex educator Jamye Waxman reminds us that switching it up and experimenting with place & time are great ways to keep sex interesting in a long term relationship.

Bad Press
In response to an email I received asking whether or not it’s any good, I dish about female sexual enhancement lotion Dream Cream.

Self Promotion Moment!
Instead of the traditional Fan Girl Moment, I share a few minutes of my new short film, Dacia’s Love Machine – a comedy about what happens when you try to get rid of a sex machine via Craigslist. As readers of Waking Vixen already know, there’s a 25 minute long director’s cut of the film that will be available for purchase soon (and will be screening at the Berlin Porn Film Festival next month). If you want to watch or pass along the sneak peek of Dacia’s Love Machine as a stand along piece – it lives on my YouTube channel.

Click to play

Yay, its the third episode! Unfortunately, Live Girl Review had a bit of a set back last week – the show has been deleted from iTunes. I think it’s probably because of “strong prevalence of sexual content,” which is listed in their terms of service as a reason shows may not be included. I haven’t gotten a response back from iTunes Abuse – if anyone has suggestions for me, please let me know. It would be a real bummer if the show wasn’t on iTunes.

In less crappy news: the winner of the goodies from the last episode is Baby Sinead, who is a photographer, model, and hell raiser in NYC. Check out her site – her blog is excellent, as are her boobs.

Here what’s in the show this week!
Reviews
Books: Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino (the book has its own community site: Opening Up) vs Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage by Jenny Block (whose website URL I just have to point out because its hilarious: jennyonthepage.com. Ha!)
Sex Toy: Fun Factory’s Delight – buy through this link and type in the code “livegirl” at checkout and you get a 10% discount
Smut Review: Hospital! directed by Benny Profane and featuring Mandy Morbid, Zak Sabbath, and Caroline Pierce

One Hot Minute
Because I reviewed two books about open relationships, Jamye Waxman decided to share a few tips about how to have a happy threesome.

Bad Press
Here’s why you should think twice about a vaginoplasty – put those muscles to work instead!

Fan Girl Moment
I get fan girly on Marisa DiMattia of tattoo couture blog Needled. She talks all about sex and tattoos and the study she’s been doing on the subject – you can read more about the study in her column Erotic Ink over on Suicide Girls.

Goodies!
This episode’s give aways will go to one lucky commenter who must come on over to the post on Live Girl Review to drop their words of wisdom – not top five or top ten, but anyone who comments before the next episode goes up. The winner will get: a copy of Hospital plus Ellen Forney’s Lust (comics inspired by personal ads).

The next episdoe goes up on September 24!

Thanks for your support!

This week, I’m proud to present the new and improved longform Live Girl Review – after seventy episodes, I’m going bigger and longer! And I’ll mention it right up front – I’ll be picking one of the first five commenters on this post to receive a delivery of free goodies! Details below in the list o’ links.

The episode is just under ten minutes long, and in addition to being available as a trusty old video podcast, I’m also producing an audio version, which you can check out at Libsyn and at iTunes as soon as its processed. At the moment, the audio version isn’t any different than the video (um, except the obvious), but in the future I may add longer interviews and such to the audio version.

I’ll be producing two of these long episodes every month, and they’ll go up on the second and fourth Wednesday. I’ll still occasionally produce a quickie episode too. Every marathon episode will feature a book, a movie, and a toy, plus other fun features – like special guest Jamye Waxman!

I’m also going to start adding contributors and text reviews to the site – so if you write reviews on your blog and might be game for cross-posting them here on Live Girl Review, email me at dacia[at]livegirlreview[dot]com.

Here’s what you’ll find in the episode!
Reviews
Book: Dagmar Herzog’s Sex in Crisis: The New Sexual Revolution and the Future of American Politics
Sex Toy: Magma Toys’ Phoenix
Movie: Madison Young’s Writers and Rockstars — you can also see my review of her film Undone here on Live Girl Review

One Hot Minute – new feature!
My good pal sex educator Jamye Waxman is now the sex tip correspondent for Live Girl Review! In this episode, she dishes on deep dicking – or rather, shallow dicking.

Jamye is the author of Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation and host of the Personal Touch video series from Adam and Eve. My review of the first video, Toying With Pleasure was one of the very first videos I did for this site.

Bad Press – new feature!
Highlighting bad things you should avoid! This week’s shame-light (you know, like a bad spotlight?) goes to Vigorect, an “oral gel shooter” to improve erections. Ugh.

Fan Girl Moment – new feature!
I am having fan girl moment over The Wet Spots, and as a special treat, here’s a video of their live performance of the song “Kinky Neighbors.” I also did an episode of Naked City TV about them – you can see it here.

Goodies! – comment on the post at Live Girl Review (with a moderate amount of thoughtfulness!) to win. I’ll pick one of the first five commenters as the winner, and you’ll receive the following:
Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica – the latest erotica anthology edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
The ultimate couples kit – vibes with multiple attachments